Host a Student Dinner | Host an Alumni Dinner
In 2018, Dinners for 12 Strangers will celebrate 50 years of food, conversation and fun. Last year, more than 3,700 students, faculty and alumni combined to attend more than 400 dinners in locations that spanned the globe. This proud university tradition — which falls under a suite of programs managed by UCLA’s Student Alumni Association — strives for even greater engagement and participation in this quinquagenary year.
“I even remember getting the recipe from Claire for one of the hors-d’oeuvres that night, rounds of white bread covered with a mixture of minced white onion and mayo, dusted with parmesan that puffed up soufflé-like under the broiler. Never forgot it, but also never made it.” June Smith, 1969 attendee
Dinners for 12 Strangers came into being in the late 60s, during times of challenge and promise. Gasoline averaged 34 cents a gallon, and Apollo 8 carried the first astronauts into the moon’s orbit. Two American Olympic medalists protesting racial discrimination in the United States polarized the nation by raising a fist on the podium as the national anthem played. Today, gas prices are dollars per gallon, and SpaceX plans to send the first manned flight, after a 45-year hiatus, outside of Earth’s orbit to circumnavigate the moon. Athletes face censure for taking a knee during the national anthem for reasons that echo the past. The circular nature of time, challenge and promise only highlights the irrepressible spirit of Bruins willing to leave their comfort zones to come together in friendship.
Notes from a Gold Shield Alumnae meeting in 1987 or ’88 celebrated the group’s role as co-sponsors with the Alumni Association in setting the Dinners program in motion with a goal to “encourage communication and understanding among the various parts of the university family.” Those dinners inspired a tradition of conviviality that has grown exponentially at UCLA and has been duplicated by universities across the nation.
The golden anniversary of this program continues to celebrate the belief that a shared meal creates community. The concept is simple. We eat to survive, but we eat together to connect and build camaraderie. Every Bruin is invited to participate as a host or guest. Students and faculty attend dinners in homes within 20 miles of campus. Alumni serve as hosts for a variety of reasons. Jon ’76 and Anna Zaich ’77 recalled how much they had enjoyed the experience as students in the 70s and now as graduates of the university enjoy being able to provide a similar opportunity to current students. As hosts for the last 8 years they observed that “UCLA college students of the 1970’s aren’t so different from today. They are hungry for a good meal, enjoy being in a personal home for a bit, and want to share the camaraderie of UCLA.”
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Twenty-five years as a host has given Steve Sauer ’74 the confidence to put his own spin on the program. Affectionately renamed a “Dinner for a Billion Students” in his household, Sauer regularly opens his doors to 100 students. His reason is simple, “We are a Bruin family through and through. I loved my experience as a student at UCLA and always appreciated alumni who helped me along the way. This is my/our opportunity to give back. It also allows us to continue involvement and participation in the Bruin Nation.”
Within the last decade the program has grown to be inclusive of alumni regardless of where they reside in the world. Regional dinners hosted by alumni for their peers have popped up in double digits in international cities such as Dublin, Mumbai and Nagasaki, while nationally there is representation in most states. Feedback is enthusiastic as alumni find other Bruins in their hometown and go on to build friendships and discover regional activities to share both socially and professionally.
John Friedemann ’81 shares an example of the connection and impression that can be made in a few hours. “I met a recent graduate of UCLA Law at the first Dinner for 12 Strangers that I attended. Shortly thereafter, Casey began working for us on a part-time basis and has now accepted an offer of employment with my law firm.”
Whether a dinner takes place near campus with students and faculty or further away between alumni, this time-honored tradition plays out with remarkable similarities. Guests arrive with warm smiles and are greeted with open hearts. They begin the evening as strangers with different lives, majors and interests, but their shared common bond — UCLA — opens a door of trust that allows conversation to flow easily and enthusiastically. Long before they push back from the table, friendship and mutual respect have been easily given and accepted. By the end of the evening — amid the pleasant chaos of gathering purses and coats — an exchange of email addresses takes place as guests call out their final goodbyes before getting into their cars, no longer strangers.
Sheila Rose ’69 and Marlyn Pauley ’78 met when each sought to find a cohost with whom they could share responsibilities. After the first dinner Marlyn jokes, “After our first fabulous dinner 10 years ago, Sheila said we should do it again. Jokingly, I said I wasn’t sure because if it was like a movie sequel, the next one could not possibly be as great as our first dinner. Well, we did our second dinner and the rest is history. Every dinner was as great as our first one.” Besides developing a deep and lasting friendship, they marveled at the lasting connections they have made with students they’ve entertained.
Calimay Pham ’10, J.D. ’14, who, as a student, was a guest around the table at their first dinner, has returned every year since as a graduate of UCLA Law with a successful career as an attorney. Pham illustrates Rose and Pauley’s observation that “The payoff has been huge. Engaging with the best and brightest young people from all around the world lets us know that the future of the world is in good hands.”
Sauer says that the most exciting part of the programs is “Watching students make new friends.” He goes on to add that, “I love it when someone sees me at a Bruin sporting event or in the neighborhood and indicates that they attended one or more of our D-12s over the years…and now have families of their own and host a dinner. It’s nice to see that we made an impact on the lives of others.”
For anyone who is on the fence about hosting or attending as a guest there is plenty of encouragement from former hosts. Marlyn and Sheila write, “We encourage every alumnus and student to participate. For students, everyone who has attended one of our dinners has established a new relationship at UCLA. And, with LinkedIn and UCLA One, every attendee can make new connections for a lifetime. For alumni, we say it is a great way to stay young at heart. These students are most engaging and will open you up to whole new worlds of what is going on academically at the best university in the country/world.”
Bill Calvert ’81, another Bruin who has hosted multiple dinners, says, “Try it once and you will be committed for life. It is easy, fun and rewarding beyond words.”
The dates for 2018 have been set — Feb. 24, Feb. 25 and March 3. You can sign up now to be a host and listings for dinners that you can attend will be posted soon. Your UCLA connection is for life. Discover the Bruin community that exists around you by allowing yourself to listen to other people’s stories and be willing to tell your own. Take a chance on this important UCLA tradition and reinforce your connection to the university you love.